I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
