im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
