We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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