so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
