It's Friday. Sex?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
