McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i came on her dog
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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