so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
