she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
