I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize