the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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