spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
