Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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