My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize