She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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