Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
