ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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