Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
