I have demons in me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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