Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She just used a chaser for red wine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
