you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
