Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
