Three words: puerto rican gang bang
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
