Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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