Kiss
Puke
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
