Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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