So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize