you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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