Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
