Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
