My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
