I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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