Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
