all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
