If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
