She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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