Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize