Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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