I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
