Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
