just come out here and I will go home with you...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
