Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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