You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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