I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
