I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
