It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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