Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
