note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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