I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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