just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're a waste of cheezeits
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
