the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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