I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
