its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
