Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
