Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
