this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
