Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
