Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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