You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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