Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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