i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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