He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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