yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Can I color on your dick again?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
