Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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