I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
