True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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